The Noodle Incident
by R. S. Lee
Summary: The truth about the infamous noodle incident. In an adventure involving a heist, a car chase, and an eccentric millionaire, how will Calvin survive?
1. The Invitation

I don't own Calvin and Hobbes. This story will also introduce my own original character, unlike anyone ever seen in Calvin and Hobbes Fan fictions.

Many of you Calvin and Hobbes fans have heard of the infamous Noodle Incident. An incident so terrible that Calvin refuses to acknowledge his part in it, even to his best friend.

But what happened? Why does Calvin feel so guilty about it? Why is Calvin so scared that someone will discover his part in it? And why is it named so strangely?

This fan fiction will tell you the truth about the Noodle incident. Read on, and discover the terrible truth.

**15:29**

**_November 18th…_**

Calvin came home one Tuesday afternoon happier than usual considering that he'd been at school all day.

"I'M HOOOMME!" Calvin called out as he opened the door to come face-to-face with a charging tiger. "Darn. Why didn't I see this coming?"

The next thing Calvin knew, he was on the ground, feeling the impact of being tackled by the world's most popular tiger, Hobbes.

"That was a good tailspin." Hobbes bragged cheerfully, as the duo dusted themselves off. "It knocked you down so fast that…"

"Let's disregard your imprudent antics, high-quality companion." Calvin said.

"Huh? Why are you talking like that?" Hobbes asked.

"Because, today I just got my very first A." Calvin smiled as he showed Hobbes a paper on the American Revolution. "And you know what that means."

Hobbes snatched the paper and read it. It was true. Calvin had gotten an A. "That the world is coming to an end?"

"Ha Ha!" Calvin said. "Must I point out Dad's promise at the beginning of the school year?"

**19:14**

**_ September 6th…_**

"Now Calvin I know that you have a short attention span and that tomorrow is your first day of school." Calvin's Dad explained.

"So, is that why you tied me up to this chair?" Calvin snapped.

"Yeah basically." Calvin's Dad admitted. "Now, I'm going to make this speech short."

"Thank god!"

"Just be quiet already." Calvin's Dad said. "Now, I cannot stress the importance of good grades and studying. They will basically decide what you're going to do with your life. And they will build character…"

"AHH! HOBBES! MOM! SOMEONE! HELP ME! DAD'S TALKING ABOUT CHARACTER AGAIN!" Calvin screamed as he attempted to squirm out of his chair.

"Shut up!" Calvin's Dad snapped. "I'll just skip to the point. Do you know that arcade downtown?"

"Of course!" Calvin answered. "I plan to be buried there. Under hours of kids playing 'The Antonio Brothers' Or 'Swift the Hedgehog'!"

"Yeah so anyway…"

"And 'Horsy Kong' and 'The Story of Hilda'…" Calvin continued blissfully.

"Uh… Calvin…"

"And 'Balloon Battle' and 'Mac Man' and 'Froggar'…" Calvin listed.

"Stop Listing Videogames…"

"And 'Frost Climbers' and 'G-Zero' and…"

"IT'S MY TURN TO SPEAK!" Calvin's Dad shouted. "Anyway, I will no longer be allowing you to go there once a month like in the past."

Instantly, Calvin shut up. "How dare you? You've always hated me, haven't you? I've suspected it all my life."

Dad buried his face in his hands. "Calvin, I don't hate you. I just think it's time to earn your arcade privileges now. I have a deal. For every assignment that you can get an A on, I'll take you to the arcade. Now, if you do good enough, you'll be able to go pretty much every school day. But if you don't study, then I may never have to take you again. Do we have a deal?"

"If I say no, will I still be allowed to go once a month?" Calvin asked.

"No!"

"We have a deal."

**15:31**

**_November 18th…_**

"You had a golden deal like that and you still didn't study?" Hobbes asked taken aback as the duo entered the house.

"Of course. Video games are great and all, but they just aren't worth it." Calvin explained before he entered the living room to find his parents on the family couch.

"Hello my Primary Care givers. Your preferred adolescent has approached." Calvin called out.

"What are you doing?" Calvin's Mom asked. "Did you eat a thesaurus or something?"

"Do the pair of you happen to remember Dad making a little deal with me?" Calvin asked as he handed his Dad the paper. "Well it's time for you to hold up your end of the bargain."

Calvin's Dad yelped out in shock. "No way. I don't believe it."

"Well it's true!" Calvin replied. "I'll see you in the truck."

"You cheated didn't you?" Mom accused. "Quick, who's your favourite War Hero?"

"Benedict Arnold!" Calvin replied, causing Mom and Dad to instantly stare.

"Benedict Arnold?" Dad said. "He was nothing but a scumbag traitor."

"Well he was upset about the promotion of junior officers over a popular hero like he was at the time. Pennsylvania authorities were charging him with violating military regulations, which ended up in causing him being tried by a court-martial. And he did really need money to pay for a bunch of wartime expenses and to pay for his Philadelphia extravagances. Plus Arnold also really disliked the Franco-American alliance." Calvin explained.

The parent sighed. As much as they hated that their son idolized the world's most famous traitor, there was no doubt about it. Calvin actually studied for that assignment.

"Alright. Go to the car. We've got to make a quick call." Calvin's Dad said as he grabbed the phone and dialled a number.

"Cool!" Calvin called out enthusiastically. "Come on Hobbes! We're gonna play video games."

As Calvin ran for the vehicle with Hobbes in tow, Dad began talking to someone over the phone.

"Hi Bill, it's me. I'm calling to say that Calvin got an A. Today is November 19th, who won the pool… Uh, huh… dammit…Oh well, you better call them now. I'll see you later."

"So who won?" Mom asked.

"The Waterson couple down the street won with April 31st, 2012." Dad answered.

"Damn it. We lost by less than a month."

**16:12**

**_November 18th…_**

"Wow you're good." Hobbes said as he watched Calvin play a racing game, and easily dominated it for the twentieth time.

"I know!" Calvin replied as he sped past the next checkpoint, by far in first place.

"I can't believe you had to use stilts to reach the pedals." Hobbes commented.

"I don't care." Calvin said as he made a sharp turn.

"I really don't wanna see you when you grow up. You are a natural at racing." Hobbes added, before Calvin stood up on his stilts in celebration.

"Boo ya! First place!" Calvin called out. "I rule!"

"You got all the high scores." Hobbes pointed out.

"I'm good…" Calvin replied as he started adding his initials again.

The duo walked over to a nearby arcade game called "Comets".

Calvin inserted some quarters that his mom had given him. As he started playing the game, a slip of paper was handed to Calvin.

"Huh." Calvin said as he looked around to try and see who had done it. He had no idea where the person had gone.

"Watch out!" Hobbes called out.

Calvin looked at the game to see himself nearly getting crushed by a comey. He just barely managed to dive his character out of the way.

"Hobbes, take over." Calvin ordered quickly.

Hobbes grabbed the controls and started playing as Calvin read the note,

"To Whom it May Concern,

Meet me tonight at 123 Swing Avenue, Nine O'clock. I have a job for you.

Anonymous

P.S. The payoff will be a three-week vacation from school. Plus a clean permanent record and a rather decent amount of money."

Calvin studied the paper. He wondered who had given it to him. And what did the person mean by job. It was something he was determined to find out. But first things first…

"Get off of there, Hobbes!" Calvin said as he walked after his friend.

"No doing. It's time for me to get a high score." Hobbes replied before a comet suddenly crushed his character. "Darn it."

**20:05**

**_November 18th…_**

"Good night, Calvin." Mom said as she tucked Calvin into bed.

"Yeah… good night…" Calvin replied as Mom began to walk away.

Just before leaving however, Mom paused as turned to her kid. "What're you planning?" She asked suspiciously.

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't put up any fuss at all." Mom pointed out. "That's never happened."

Calvin pretended to look hurt. "Does a son need a reason to let his mother relax for once?"

Mom looked at Calvin suspiciously as she left the room. As soon as she was out of earshot, Hobbes turned to Calvin and asked, "What're you planning?"

"I'm just planning to sneak out for a business deal." Calvin answered as he got up and walked to his closet. He pulled out a jacket and put it on.

"Cover for me." Calvin added as he began to climb out of the window.

"Only if you tell me exactly what is going on!" Hobbes said.

"Deal!"

**20:58**

**_November 18th…_**

After much wandering of the streets, Calvin walked into 123 Swing Avenue, which turned out to be nothing but an empty lot.

"Oh. Reeeaal Mature!" Calvin said. "Lure me out here in the middle of night for nothing."

Calvin sighed and began to leave before hearing a very familiar, and very intimidating voice.

"Hello Twinkie."

And by the way, Benedict Arnold is not one of my heroes. I barely even know anything about him. I just searched a dictionary for that info. I'm a freaking Canadian. Where am I going to learn about the American Revolution?


	2. The Job

I only own Lee, Joe, Jake and Josh. And just so you all know, you won't know why it's called "The Noodle Incident" until the end of the story. I'm just going to say that it's **very** different from the other versions on this site.

* * *

**20:59**

**_November 18th…

* * *

_**

"Uh… Hi…Uh… Uh…" Calvin stammered as Moe stepped out of the shadows. "Nice… To… Uh… See… You… G-guys… I guess…"

"Hi Twinky!" Moe said as he approached his favourite victim. "C'mon guys! Let's give Twinky an advance one on his beating."

Almost instantly, Moe's three goons came out of the shadows. The three were identical triplets. They weren't as strong or mean or even as smart as Moe, but they were loyal. They wore identical sweaters with their initials on them so people could tell them apart. But since their names were Josh, Jake, and Joe, nobody was sure what the point of the shirts are..

"Oh. Hi guys. What're the chances?" Calvin said quickly. "I gotta go. Nice chatting with you."

And with those words, Calvin began to run away for safety, only for one of the triplets to immediately grab Calvin by the collar.

"Good grab Jake!" Moe encouraged.

"My name's Joe." Joe said as he lifted Calvin off the ground.

"Whatever. Just take some money and let him go. We've still got that meeting." Moe ordered.

"It's nine O'clock at night. Why would I have money?" Calvin said before realizing something. "Wait a second. What meeting?"

"We got a card telling us to meet someone for some kind of job." One of the other triplets explained.

"So did I!" Calvin replied. "Did it promise you a three week vacation, clean permanent record, and money?"

The four bullies looked at each other. Moe shook his head, causing Joe to put Calvin down.

"Oh thank god." Calvin said before a limousine pulled over across the street.

The five turned to see a boy step out. He didn't seem any older than seven years old. Despite his age, the child wore a whit tuxedo and a black Bow tie. He wore a white bowler hat over his black wavy locks. Calvin had seen him around school in the recent past. He just didn't know the guy's name.

"Hello everybody." Said the kid.

"Hi Colonel Saunders." Calvin replied as a reference at the kid's wardrobe.

The kid was not amused. "Ha ha."

"Who are you?" Moe asked.

"My name will not be revealed until we've all reached an agreement."

"Weren't you the villain in one of the Oklahoma Jones movies?" The triplet, who hadn't spoken yet throughout the story, asked.

"No Joshua, I was not the villain in a Oklahoma Jones movies." The kid answered.

"Uh… my name's Josh." Josh replied.

"I know!" The kid said.

"Well then, why'd you call him Joshua?" Jake questioned.

Calvin, Moe, and the kid all stared at Jake and Josh's incredible stupidity. The triplets just looked around wildly wondering why the others were staring.

"I am not even going to reply to that comment." The kid replied. "Let's just get to the point. The job I want you to pull is a heist."

"A heist? As in a robbery?" Calvin questioned.

"No. By heist, I meant cleaning my living room." The kid said sarcastically.

"Why would I want to clean your living room?" Joe asked.

As Moe slapped Joe in the head, the kid began to explain his plan. "We are going to break into the school and steal some important stuff. Answer Books, Permanent Records, Marks, stuff like that. The things they need. I've planned it out to the last detail. It will succeed and the school will be tossed into utter carnage and we will be given a few weeks off."

"So if we get caught, we will get detention _and _be arrested?" Calvin said.

"Probably. But we won't be caught. I've planned it out perfectly." The kid replied.

"Alright." Moe answered. "I'm in."

"So are we!" Jake added.

Calvin thought for a second. This could end up backfiring big time. But on the other hand…

"I'll do it."

"Excellent. My name is Lee Gordon. I'll meet up with all of you tomorrow to discuss the details."

"By the way, don't you know that you're not supposed to wear white after Labour Day." Calvin added.

* * *

**21:24**

**_November 18th…

* * *

_**

Calvin climbed a tree to the roof of his house. He began to head for his bedroom window, where Hobbes almost immediately greeted him.

"So, what happened?" Hobbes asked.

"The person didn't show." Calvin lied as he took off his jacket and crawled into bed. "I waited for a while and then left."

He didn't want anyone else to know what he was involved in. Not even Hobbes.

**

* * *

12:41**

**_November 19th…

* * *

_**

Calvin ate his lunch across from Susie as usual. As he grabbed a jelly sandwich, he decided to do his favourite lunchtime activity.

"I swear my sandwich is moving." Calvin said.

Calvin then put the sandwich ahead of his mouth and started flapping the sandwich. Then, in a very phoney accent, he began to speak.

"Okay, sheriously. I am sho hungwy, ich ishn't even funny. Vut I am a shandwich. Sho I am unavle cho eat. I sheriously wish zat I hash shome cheesh right now. Zen I could eat all I vanch."

Susie stared for a second before getting up to leave. She wasn't even sure what Calvin was saying. And something told her that she didn't want to know.

Smiling from his comic genius, Calvin began eating in satisfaction. That had been fun.

Suddenly, a paper airplane hit his lunch table. Calvin looked around and then read it.

* * *

"Meet me by the Cafeteria Entrance. Now!!!

Lee"

* * *

Calvin stood up and headed for the Cafeteria entrance. He went to the entrance where he found Lee wearing a similar outfit to the one from the other night, except this time in black.

"Did you just come from a funeral?" Calvin asked.

"Ha hah!" Lee said sarcastically. "I've got something for you. In a couple of hours, the custodian will come to clean the cafeteria. At 2:00 clock on the dot, I want you to ask for a washroom break. The custodian keeps the keys to the school in his jacket pocket. When he cleans, he always removes his jacket and places it in the janitor's closet. I need you to sneak in there and nab those keys."

Calvin stared for a second. "How did you know all that?"

"When I said that'd planned it out perfectly, I meant it." Lee stated.

Calvin began to look around wildly, uncomfortable at Lee's unusual knowledge of the janitor's schedule. "Oh look." Calvin said scornfully as he pointed at a copy of the week's menu. "Noodles on Friday again? What is up with our school budget?"

"Calvin, you may leave." Lee stated.

"Thank you!" Calvin said as he ran into the cafeteria. Before he could sit down at his table however, Calvin suddenly paused and ran back to Lee.

"Engarde Zorro." Calvin said as he began waving an imaginary sword at the child, causing Lee to gaze furiously at Calvin.

"Just had to do it, Lee! See ya soon." Calvin chuckled as he left.

* * *

**14:00**

**_November 19th…

* * *

_**

Calvin watched frantically as the clock ticked. As it struck 2 O'clock, he raised his hand. "Ms. Wormwood! Can I go to the washroom?"

"I'm not falling for that again." Wormwood answered.

"Uh, fall for what?" Calvin asked.

"You say that you're going to the washroom, so you can sneak out of school and go home."

"Now, come on." Calvin said. "Am I really dumb enough to try that a fifth time?"

"Yes!" Susie pointed out.

"I'm not asking you!" Calvin stated. "C'mon Ms. Wormwood. I'm ready to burst."

Wormwood sighed. "Fine. You can go."

Calvin jumped out of his desk and ran out of the classroom. He was going to get those keys or die trying.

* * *

And so I introduce my Original Character, Mr. Lee Gordon. He will be a recurring character in all my future Calvin and Hobbes stories.


End file.
